1. Un vieux couple se rend à une prière pour la guérison des malades.
Le prêtre dit: “posez votre main sur la partie malade et vous allez être guéri par le Seigneur. »La femme pose la main sur son cœur.
Le vieux introduit la main dans son pantalon pour la poser sur son sexe.
Alors sa femme lui dit: « c’est une prière de guérison des malades et non de résurrection des morts ».
2. A girlfriend after having boring intercourse,
complains to her boyfriend,
« why didn’t you tell me you have a ‘small guitar’
» Guy replied, « I didn’t know I’ll be performing in a ‘hall’ «
3. One evening a husband and wife were in bed. The husband was reading a book, and the wife was watching TV. The husband reaches over and puts his hand in his wife’s panties then withdraws his hand. The wife was surprised by this and thought perhaps her husband was in the mood for a little love. A short time later the husband again reaches into his wife’s panties then withdraws his hand. Now the wife is almost sure that her husband is « in the mood. »She decides to wait for him to touch her a third time and then she will know for sure. Sure enough, the husband repeats *the move.*She leaves the bed, removes her clothes, and returns ready for sex. Her husband, still reading his book, is surprised when she says, « Dear, I’m all ready! » The husband asks, « For what? »She says, « Well, for sex, dear! You’ve fingered me three times in the last 5 minutes, and now I’m ready! »The husband replies,
« Huh? Sex?? I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.”
4. Girl: If we got married, stop smoking.
Girl: Drinking too.
Girl: N going to the night club too.
Boy: – Yes.
Girl: – What else can u leave??
Boy: – The idea of marrying you.
5. A girlfriend gave a challenge to her boyfriend to live a day without her.
at all and said if he passed it, she’ll love him forever.
The boyfriend agreed.
He never texted her nor called his girlfriend for the whole day without knowing that his girlfriend has 24hours left because of a cancer.
After a day, he excitedly went to his girlfriend,
»I did it baby » but tears fell as he saw his girlfriend lying in a coffin with a note: »You did it baby, now please do it every day I LOVE YOU”
6. TEACHER: What is period?
Mpata: I don’t know sir,
but I think it’s very dangerous because when my
Sister said she hasn’t seen her period for 3months…..
My mom fainted, my dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away without a trace.
7. Four girls take lift in a car full of Engineers.
Since no place, they sat on Boys Lap
After TEN Mins
Girl 1: Are you a ECE Engineer? Boy1: How u Know?
Girl 1: Your tower is communicating with my
unreachable Area! xP
Girl 2 : are you a Computer Engineer ?
Boy 2: How you know?
Girl 2: Your Pendrive is trying to connect with my USB Drive!
Girl 3: Are you a Mechanical Engineer?
Boy 3: How you Know?
Girl 3: Your Piston is trying to move into My Cylinder!
Girl 4: Are you a Civil Enginner?
Boy 4: How do you know?
Girl 4: Your Dam has Broken and Flodded my Village
Source : Twenga Style…